...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
