Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize