This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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