do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
