GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
