So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Your dad touched me again.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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