My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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