I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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