Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
