i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
