I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
