i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
