HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
