New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize