On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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