out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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