Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I looked at my own cervix.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
