We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
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I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
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You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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