Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
