I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
