I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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