butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
