Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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