I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
