**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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