apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize