Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
