I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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