T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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