But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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