you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We have so much sex to catch up on
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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