I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
