He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
