a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
