I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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