Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
