dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
