im six kinds of drunk right now
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
