we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
