Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
