I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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