ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize