Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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