I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
well you can't waste a boner
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
