Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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