I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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