i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
