She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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