I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize