You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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