you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize