last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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