I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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