I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I pour the whiskey from now on
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
