Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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