worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
