What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
