dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
