I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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