We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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