people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.