wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
