so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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