Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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